GLA40

Steven Reeder

Emotional Resiliency Coach, PCC, ELI-MP

Pretend you’re me for a moment. You’re stressed out right now.

You’re trying to write a great opening to this article about stress, and it’s just not coming to you. You’re having writer’s block. Given how long you’ve been at it, it’s very upsetting and not the first time. Why does this always keep happening to you?

Your adrenaline and cortisol levels are rising as you get more disappointed with your lack of inspiration, when you could be out doing something fun. But the article has to get done. Shouldn’t you be smarter than this? You have a deadline, ya know.

As your homeostatic balance becomes further disrupted, you get more agitated about your lack of in-the-moment creativity. Your worry and frustration are psychologically stimulating a system that was designed to protect you from lions and sabretooth tigers. You are currently suffering from a self-induced general adaptation syndrome, or “stress response.”

OK, now stop pretending to be me. 

I sure hope that wasn’t stressful for you to go through that. Yet if you could feel yourself getting frustrated right along with me, you just learned (or remembered) something very significant about the biological stress response: you don’t have to be under “real” stress to trigger the biological stress response. 

Stress is not only a state of mind, but also a state of the body that starts with the mind – specifically the brain. Based on the quality of the thoughts you have at any given moment, the brain directs the body to release hormones into the bloodstream. Stressful thoughts release catabolic hormones into the body, such as cortisol, adrenaline, and glucagon.

Catabolic hormones breakdown structures in the body in order to create fast, ready-to-use energy in stressful situations, like running away from danger. However, consistent and prolonged stressful thinking can keep your body in a semi-regular state of hormonal stress. Unlike a gazelle– which reacts immediately to impending, present dangers – you release catabolic hormones into the body just by thinking about a stressful situation, when no physical stressor is present. We ruminate, worry, and hold grudges long after the triggering events have taken place. We literally make things up to be upset about.

The real problem then is that your self-induced stress response becomes a greater threat to your body and health than does the actual stressor, especially when the stressor is hypothetical or psychological nonsense of your own creation. To quote Caroline Myss, “Your biography becomes your biology.”

The Three Levels of Stress

Stress is a natural part of life. The body is built for natural defense and self-preservation mechanisms. What our body doesn’t know is the difference between “real” and “imagined” stress: it responds the same to both.

Our body is not built for the chronic stress to which we subject ourselves on a recurring basis, inviting a host of stress-induced diseases that accrue effects slowly over time: diabetes, high blood pressure, immune disorders, inflammation, sleep loss, obesity, gastrointestinal problems, headaches, accelerated aging, and premature death. The gravity (grave-ness) of understanding and managing our stress is clear.

The key to understanding your stress is not necessarily the intensity of the triggering event (which you cannot control), but the intensity of your response (which you can control with practice). You and I are not stressed out by the same people or events, or to the same degree, so any examination of your own stress is relative. However with the proper means and measurements, it’s possible to qualify (and quantify) your responses to various stressors.

When you understand and identify your own stress response, you can make better choices of how to respond to triggers.

Level 1 Stress – “I Lose”

This can be the most debilitating form of stress because you feel there’s nothing you can do. Powerlessness comes in many forms: apathy, indifference, lethargy, guilt, worry, hopeless, sorrow, shame, grief, embarrassment, low self-esteem. When you’re in this level of stress, you’re a victim to (at the effect of) certain events, thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and perceptions that cause you to feel trapped. Or you might be devoid of any feeling at all because, “Why bother? I always lose.”

As a result of this level of stress, you feel you have a lack of choice or options, resulting in avoidance or trouble making decisions, because you feel helpless to make a difference.

At the low end of the scale this kind of stress can feel like listlessness, or a sudden pang of defeat. (Think of that big sigh you let out when everything is just too much.) At the far end of the scale – if this level of stress is chronic – it can lead to mental and emotional paralysis, and depression.

Depending on how much time and energy is spent in this level of stress, the underlying causes of the stress may need to be actively addressed in order to move beyond it in a sustainable way. What decisions are you avoiding? How much do you feel you’re carrying the weight of the world? How many times do you just want to give up? Where (or to whom) are you abdicating your power?

You can start to emerge from this level of stress through: examining personal filters and triggers; bringing your awareness from past regret or future worry into the present, assessing what you have the power to do right now; identifying chronic negative interpretations and reframing circumstances.

Level 2 Stress – “You Lose”

This level of stress is characterized by conflict, be it internal or external. Whereas Level 1 stress was about withdraw and inaction, Level 2 stress is all about forcing the action. This conflict can manifest as frustration, defiance, resistance, struggle, antagonism, control, micromanaging, sarcasm, false bravado, condescension, blame, scorn, anger, or rage.

This level of stress is rooted in polarized thinking, where everything seems black or white, right or wrong, good or bad. The focus is always on “what’s wrong,” “who’s to blame,” “my way or the highway,” or “I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too.”

While Level 2 stress seems separate and unrelated from Level 1, they can go hand-in-hand. Often times, people may be frustrated or angry precisely because they feel powerless to affect their current situation, and are not as happy or fulfilled as they’d like to be.

One advantage to Level 2 Stress is that it enables you to actually do something about it (i.e. fight or flight). People operating in this level of stress can get a lot done, and be fired up and motivated, at least temporarily. But while accomplishment through force may appear successful, long-term success through this approach is likely not sustainable. You often end up like Sisyphus, forcing the rock up the hill, just to see it roll back down when you’re exhausted.

Level 2 stress can also be a mask for Level 1 stress. Appearing powerless or impotent feels shameful to many people, and this level allows you to appear powerful on the outside while hiding pain behind a mask of aggression. Aggression feels like power to a powerless person, and – having tasted power for perhaps the first time – they’ll be reluctant to give it up.

Yet consistent aggression can alienate others. Therefore, you’ll have few allies at your side, or they might turn their aggression toward you in return. You might even direct it inward, and beat yourself up for not being perfect. As Albert Einstein said, “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”

Just as with Level 1 stress, chronic Level 2 stress creates copious amounts of catabolic hormones in the body. Not only will you likely end up burned out, the long-term toll on the body is high.

Just as before, the underlying causes of the stress may need to be addressed in order to move beyond it in a sustainable way. Who are you blaming for the circumstances of your life? Where in your life are you lacking trust, and why? How often do you have to be right? You can start to emerge from this level of stress through: examining personal filters and triggers; moving past binary win/lose and black/white thinking, and considering the many options in gray areas; identifying chronic negative interpretations; removing blame and taking responsibility for thoughts and feelings.

Level 3 Stress – “I’m Fine”

This level of stress is the least arduous, but probably the most misunderstood. In taking responsibility for your thoughts and feelings, you’re able to move forward and take care of yourself. However this level of stress sets in when you become overly comfortable with the status quo. This level of stress is all about settling, tolerating, excusing, rationalizing, coping, compromising, and explaining away any resentments, stresses, and disappointments.

The good news in this level of stress is that you’re able to release much of the debilitating stress found in the lower two levels. You’re able to find the silver lining, and turn lemons into lemonade. However, these perspectives still always have one eye on “the problem to solve.” Over the long term, this can put you in a rut of complacency, running on auto-pilot, doing only the bare minimum, or putting too much energy into maintaining the peace, making sure nothing rocks the boat.

Like a low-grade fever, it’s a simmer that never comes to a boil. It doesn’t light a fire to build up steam for real accomplishment. The sure sign that you’re in this level of stress is when your response to most things is, “It’s fine.” “I’m fine.” “Yes there’s a problem, but it’ll be all right.” “I’m just coasting through life.”

When this is the long-term outlook, there’s little motivation for upward movement or growth, and perhaps you’re tolerating things that could be a lot better. You could be saying, “whatever will be, will be,” rather than actively participating to create the life you really want.

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Though these levels can be separately identified, this does not suggest that you can only experience one level of stress in any given situation. You might be juggling a blend of more than one – or all three – in the same circumstance. It’s also possible that the response to a stressful event calls for evoking another stressful event in order to make progress, such as initiating a difficult conversation, or putting your foot down in an intolerable situation.

But one thing is true: you likely have a predisposition toward one type over another, a measurable likelihood of when it will be triggered, and why. How can you know which one? How can it be measured? How to work through it and reduce your stress, no matter the level? 

When you take the Energy Leadership Index Assessment (E.L.I.), you get a quantifiable report and debrief, not only about what triggers your stress and at what level, but also what strengths you have to offset and address your stress. Recognized by Forbes as one of the Top 10 assessments for understanding your strengths and challenges, it pulls back the curtain on exactly what’s getting in your way of having a more productive and purposeful life.

The best thing about the assessment is that you get to do something about the results. Unlike a personality assessment (MBTI, DiSC, et al), the results of the E.L.I. reveal attitudinal qualities that are not static. By learning what your core motivations are, you can take active steps over time to counter and eliminate what’s not working for you, and actually change the results of the assessment the next time you take it.

I’m proud to be a Master Practitioner of this assessment because of its power to bring awareness and affect change in lives of anyone who engages the process. I love being part of the movement to turn the tide away from the chaos we currently tolerate in our lives. 

Along with the E.L.I. assessment results, I deliver a one-hour private debrief of exactly what your assessment results mean to you, and how you can choose ways to move forward. The results can serve as a road map to exactly what you want to change in your life in order to feel you’re making true and lasting progress.

What have you been tolerating for too long? In what area of your life are you ready to be stronger and more confident? It’s true that if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always be what you’ve always been. Now THAT’S stressful! I’d love to help you get a handle on that stress and let it go. Begin the process now at www.stevenreeder.com/stress.

Steven Reeder is a Certified Professional Coach, Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, and Energy Leadership Master Practitioner. He has partnered with such organizations as AbbVie, American Society for Quality, Age Forward, Bodhi Road, Namasgay, and Metropolitan Community Church to create instant impact on grief, work/life balance, self-leadership, and major life changes. He is also an Assistant Trainer and Success Coach for the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC); teaching and supporting students and individual clients to raise the consciousness of the world one person at a time.

Find out more at www.stevenreeder.com